This is perhaps going to be my last blog post in 2013 and I wanted to gift all you readers this invaluable secret sauce to successfully keeping your resolutions. Try this prescribed method and amaze yourselves in the wonder of how simple and easy it is for you to grow and contribute to the growth of the environment you live in that includes the enterprise where you make a living and the society where you thrive in joyous celebration. If you find any difficulty or you have additional queries, do not hesitate to reach out to me through the comments section of this post and I promise to answer every query and comment within 24 hours. So without further ado, let’s get to the heart of the matter. I would like to warn here that I use the metaphor of sex to explain certain concepts and those whose sensibilities might be affected by the topic of sex may discontinue reading this post a this point.
Let us first understand why we have so much difficulty in keeping our resolutions whether as an individual, organization or society? We are the same human being who inhabit all the three spaces and impact what happens here with our behavior influenced by our intellect. And our intellect is shaped by three shades of the same dimension; Passion, Habits and Obsessions. First reflect on the following chart:
Every living being is born with the senses that transmit signals to the brain that forms the data on which we operate. However, unlike animals and plants, humans seem to have the ability to convert data and retain metadata (which appears absent in animals and plants), convert that data into information and intelligence depending on the effective use of the metadata.
The term Meta Data is defined as “Data about Data”. It is also understood as the description of containers of data or “descriptive metadata”. In the case of human beings, Experience defines the descriptive Meta Data. This is further influenced or description is added depending on the Environment and Culture (Values, Beliefs and Assumptions) that an individual lives in. Therefore the layers of data color the behavioral manifestation of an individual.
Let us understand all the above a little deeper with the metaphor of sex, which is one of most natural phenomenon as life itself:
- If you allow your passion to rule you as a Basic Instinct, it is the empathy (Reason) that operates your love making with your partner irrespective of the gender. However a habit doesn’t really differentiate (repetitiveness) between masturbation, dildo or a partner’s presence. An obsession on the other hand performs a selfish (manipulative) act to achieve personal orgasm, which at its extreme is recognized by society as rape but happens everyday in many homes and even brothels without the notice of the public gaze. And the same people extend that sexual behavior to other aspects of life in the organizations and societies that they spend their lives. Don’t you think The supreme court ruling in India criminalizing gay sex (again) is one such manifestation where the most powerful institution in a country passing a judgment that manipulates the very fundamental truth of human existence; the experience of love?
- Sex that is consensual is considered legitimate in all societies. Passion finds the Reason for having sex as people who interpret the data about each other as something that enriches their experience in being one and together. Habit doesn’t care for the presence of reason or otherwise and just needs to have sex because there is a sex organ (convenience) to be pleasured. Obsession forces itself on others into submission by the pleasure (logic) it provides to gloat and grab power. America’s aggression and foreign policy[i] to police the world in the name of democracy is a classic example of the obsessive behavior, don’t you think?
- Passion enriches one’s own experience and growth. Therefore a Passionate act of sex explores (Enriching) new ways of keeping a partner in anticipation of the next encounter. A habit has no such pretenses and just survives (ignorance) the routine of an orgasm from one act to the next one while obsession performs different acts of sex to increase one’s own pleasure (fuel) ignoring the concern and interest of the other party. Don’t you find resonance in behavior of the leaders at financial institutions worldwide in recent times; resembling this obsessiveness in their approach to making money?
- Passion naturally supports Learning, which is fundamental to growth. A person Passionate in Sex learns (Naturally Responsive) continuously; not only implicitly but also asking the partner explicit questions on what would enhance the experience of being together. Habit doesn’t bother (Attitude) with the questions because it is not dealing with entities that could anyway experience reality or answer questions. Obsessive sex operates on the knowledge that is selectively gleaned from the literature / propaganda (Influenced) of others’ experiences that has little to do with the partner in question who is just a mere object of pleasure. Don’t you find this self-aggrandizing brand building of individuals and enterprises through the willing and collaborative social and electronic media; clinging to the age-old principles of Monopoly and Oligopoly?
- Finally, it goes without saying that where there is passionate sex enjoyed between two consenting adults, there Love and Trust. Such is the power of Learning and Relationship. Habitual sex shuns learning and has no real relationships and consequently catalyzes (mediocrity) decay. Obsessive sex drives fear and complexity into a very beautiful act of oneness and divides and destroys societies. Isn’t this obsessive behavior manifested in the terrorist outfits of the world whose dogma and doctrines of religion drive fear and destruction in our societies?
I had to provide you all that contextual information to bring you to the realization that most people when making a resolution are skimming behavioral level. Examples are quitting smoking, start dieting, stop drinking or avoid fornicating, which are mere symptoms (behavioral manifestations). This is where the problem lies. It is wonderful that many people might succeed in one of their resolutions such as dieting but unfortunately another one, equally or more debilitating, replaces such as fornicating. Now the person has a better physique and can attract others that they hitherto could not.
We make resolutions in order to renew ourselves in the pursuit of growth and not destruction; whether as an individual, enterprise and / or society at large.
- Shouldn’t we be focusing on the right elements for renewal and real progress?
- Should we be focusing on the manifestations of our behavior caused by our intellect or the lack of it; as opposed to renewing how our intellect operates?
- From the above chart and the explanations provided, shouldn’t we be examining our own self and see how we are interpreting our experiences or otherwise to impact our behavior that causes Growth, Mediocrity and / or Destruction to the environment we live in?
Keeping the above three questions in the context of your life, let’s see how you are now going to now address your New Year resolutions in the firm belief that this is going cause a shift in your personal, professional and emotional response to life; contributing growth for you and the enterprise and society that you live in.
- Ask yourself “What is the Purpose of my Resolution”? The resolutions you make should contribute to defining you as a contributing member of your community, enterprise and / or society.
- Then ask yourself “Why is it important for me to define and / or re-define myself and my intellect”? Find succinct answers that support the articulation you have arrived at for What Defines You.
- Only after having iterated and finally accepted the “What” and “Why” as intellectually the right steps forward, articulate to yourself “How I plan to implement it in my life”. Make it as detailed, as you want, including the Method, Scope and Approach that you are going to adopt.
- For the above three bullets, define a time line with the “When will I see the Transformation / Change Manifested in my behavior” that not only allows you to figure out a roadmap and the resources you require to fulfill the how but also gives you a measure of understanding how you can test the transformation you are undergoing is successful.
- Finally, articulate “Where I expect to see my transformed manifesting its behavior” and the Contributions its makes to yourself, your enterprise and society at large; measurably providing you learning to go back to the drawing board to refine your resolutions for the next year.
Do yourself a favor. Invest time on this before the festivities of Christmas and the partying can begin. Write them down on your Computer / hand held devise or even the good old notebook because thinking and writing and then reading it regularly will commit it to your senses and the metadata of your brain. Do it religiously and don’t forget to mark the milestones of completing the When and Where and Celebrate.
It is not unusual to seek help with the process. However, avoid the “gatekeepers of information” such as the self-professed spiritual and corporate gurus. They have a vested interest in supporting you with their knowledge. But what you want is not their knowledge[ii] but the method of making that knowledge work for your growth. Remember that Learning is key to Transformation & Growth. Figure out who is willing to contribute to your learning and be there responsively for you when you need them most.
Trust me! Try out the prescription that I have laid out for you here. You will be rewarded with success and you will become the new Transformation Agent and a Leader that enterprises and Societies are desperately looking for. Not all aspects of your intellect can be changed overnight. It is a process and it will take time. However, it is critical to recognize the fact that you are keeping the context and conditions of your environment in mind and shaping your life to be relevant. This is the way to feeling alive and joyous and becoming a part of the growth that we are all so desperately searching for.
Merry Christmas and a Joyous and Cheerful 2014 for you and your loved ones.